The 2011 Year in Posts

 Chapter 49

A lot happened in 2011. Dress Like A Grownup!'s first year was packed brimful with tender nuggets of sartorial snark, garnished with delicate notes of historical reference, and sauteéd in a hearty sauce of erudite admonition. 

Detail of Interior of a Tailor's Shop,
painted ~1655 by Quiringh Van Brekelenkam.

It may be daunting for first-timers to wade through all this disparate information scattered throughout the year, so here is an easy-to-use cross-linkable summary index for the entire year. 

I started out in February, with a brief introduction that sets the stage for what would become Dress Like A Grownup! as it exists today. 

If you are truly new to the concept of dressing well, then my series on the basics, called Dressing The Average Guy, starts with the premise of knowing absolutely nothing. After you take a good look at yourself, I introduce the concept of insouciance as the yardstick for how you wear what you wear. After a thorough description of grownup attire, and the history of wearing it, we look at the science behind what makes a stylish suit, and then how to go about finding one.

The Dressing The Average Guy series continues with "Phase II," which is a little more advanced. Once you are familiar with the basics of proper clothing, I take you through rediscovering the happiness of your youth, and the influences of your youthful interests, to incorporate into your personal style, "fine tuning" your sartorial choices after having become comfortable with the broad strokes. Finding the right suit is made easier by learning to take proper measures on yourself, and then I show you how to use those measures to nab a perfectly-fitting suit right off the rack in fifteen minutes.

Preparation for advanced clothing and tailoring concepts starts with a tailor's form, that you can make yourself as an exact body-duplicate.

The Island of Misfit Clothes is the advanced series that builds upon the Average Guy series. The goal here is continued refinement of the exactness of the fit of your clothes by working on them yourself. I demonstrate how little changes can make a big difference by changing the button-stance of a jacket, and discussing all the equipment and supplies you'll need. We tackle a quick and easy way to alter a trouser waist, as well as a more involved way. We went through the theory of altering a jacket's chest size, and introduced a grossly outsized three-piece suit for our nefarious purposes. After taking it apart, and pinning it to shape, we stitch-marked it, in preparation for final stitching. And that's where that series left off at the end of 2011.

If you're unfamiliar with what constitutes a good pair of shoes, I have a good overview of styles, construction, and proper fitting, and a peek at the shoe closet of the well-heeled gentleman.

There wasn't a lot of hat-talk in 2011, although I did discuss choosing a hat for the summer heat, and a short observation of everyday hattery-foolery. My April Fool's topic on building your top hat collection, even in jest, has some good information on top hat construction, and where to buy a topper.

More importantly, I have laid out the intricacies of just when to wear a hat, and when not to, in plain language. 

Ties have gotten short-shrift this year, which was somewhat intentional. As I make bespoke ties, I didn't want the blog to devolve into a shill for my own product. I did discuss the different sorts of ties with which you should be familiar, and illustrated two different ways to tie a bow tie.

An overview of tropical summer shirts, and how to properly put them away in the off-season through starching, ironing, and wrapping, demonstrates that dressing well is not always about suits.

I've listed every sort of bit, bauble, and accessory, and how to choose accessories for yourself. 

Scattered throughout the year are topical tips on dressing for special occassions, such as spring break, the prom, and autumn sports and recreation, 

There has been no shortage of sartorial history lessons this year: how schoolchildren of old learned how to dress, the origin of the Easter Parade, and the evolution of what is considered well-dressed through the ages. 

The Tony awards and the Emmy awards were fertile fields on which to cast a particularly perspicuous perspective on popular personages' panoply -- the formalwear decisions, both wise and oh-so-foolish, of rich and famous men. The wedding of Prince William to Catherine was well-covered, with emphasis on what the men wore, as well as the cautionary tale of the wedding of Prince Georg to Princess Sophie.

The story of the fighting yank illustrates the tragic consequences of poor attire on society.

In addition to the April Fool's week mentioned previously, Halloween week debuted the scariest thing I've seen this year, Thanksgiving week debuted the Bow Tie Man of the Year, and Christmas week should have been the Razor Square Man of the Year, if the Computer Crash of 2011 hadn't intervened. 

Said crash resulted in three mini-posts, the aforementioned hat observation, an exhortation to never cut corners, and not to take the path of least resistance. 

And thus we rang out the year of 2011. 2012 promises much more of the same: awards coverage, commentary, history, the continuation of The Island of Misfit Clothes, and ever more! Stay tuned.

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The TT&S Razor Square Man of the Year

Chapter 48

One of the most memorable moments in television happened on The Tonight Show in 1960. Jack Paar, infuriated by the NBC censors' decision to cut a joke, (and a tame and rather funny one at that,) abruptly and without any warning walked right off the set. He stayed off for nearly a month, as NBC scrambled for hosts to cover his absence. Rumors and supposition suffused the public as Parr dropped completely out of sight. Then, one night, out of nowhere, he strolled on set, paused for a moment, then said, "As I was saying, before I was interrupted..." to an uproarious response from the audience.

Yes, the TT&S difference engine is back online, and all is well in the Sartorial Empire. All my data and files are intact, so we'll jump right back in where we left off, with what was to be the start of a yearly tradition on Christmas week. So, "as I was saying," Dress Like A Grown-Up! in cooperation with Mr Thompson's Ties & Squares, is pleased to present the annual

2011 Razor Square Man of the Year!

The criterion for this fine and noble distinction is to be (1) a man who has the public's eye and attention, (2) who consistently wears pocket squares publicly, (3) who shows a fine or unique sensibility in their pocket square choices, and (4) through whose example other men may be encouraged to do the same.

After much deliberation, we have 2011's three finalists.

The Second Runner-up is known for his work on the AMC series Mad Men. That entire franchise is a showcase for all things Mid-Century Wonderful, from the smallest details of furniture and architecture to a very good study of the basics of men's Classic Style in clothing. It's not a perfect show: it can certainly be a parodial pastiche of the era at times, but it is a tutorial in the Right Way to dress, notable in the pocket squares of the characters.

John Slattery, who plays Roger Sterling on the show, wears a variety of crisp starchy squares. Jon Hamm's Don Draper limits himself primarily to TV folds, but Sterling's squares are a bit showier, more elegant, and just as wearable today. Slattery didn't place higher through any fault of his own -- Mad Men itself, as a "time capsule" show, is the limiting factor here. As with any program set in the past, the fashions are by definition inaccessible and costume to modern eyes. Slattery's squares may catch the attention of the viewer, but may not encourage emulation in modern dress.

The First Runner-up, by contrast, is very much in the modern world. He is a man in front of the camera, but not an actor, whose sartorial choices are clearly his own. And he is a true connoisseur of the pocket square.

Bret Baier, Fox news reporter, former bureau chief, Pentagon and White House correspondent, and current anchor of Special Report on Fox News, is rarely seen on-camera without a pocket square. There has been much on-air good natured ribbing among the correspondents on the subject, and Baier's squares are an indispensable part of his wardrobe. He wears many differing styles, from the ubiquitous TV fold, to linen folds and silk poufs; all in perfect harmony with his tie, his suits, and even the overall tone of his broadcasts. He wears them naturally, and they don't call attention to themselves, but at the same time they complete the overall look of his suits with elegance and panache. The co-ordination of tie and square, a delicate balancing act of color and pattern, is accomplished so well by Baier that it should be required study for any man wanting to see how to do it right. 

This year's winner edges out Baier by a whisker. A television entertainment personality, he is more universally known, but more importantly, he demonstrates a side of the pocket squares that is very seldom used, and that unique take on the art earns him this year's top position.

Dr. Phil McGraw, an experimental and clinical psychologist, was hired by The Oprah for her 1995 trial. She was so impressed, she invited him on her show. This led to a weekly spot, then vaulted him to the vaunted position of a satellite orbiting Oprah's gravity well, and his daily "Dr. Phil" show. Dr. McGraw's wardrobe is supplied by the Italian designer Mabro, his on-set costume coordinator plays a part in what he wears, and he has a salary befitting an Oprahite, so it stands to reason that he looks good on-air.

Dr. Phil doesn't always wear pocket squares with his suits, but does often enough; and it is always a Mabro silk pouf. He doesn't always wear a tie: depending on the tone of the show, he is sometimes attired in a suit coat over an open-collared polo-style golf shirt, or in a dress shirt sans tie. What's so notable about this that warrants the Big Prize to the good Doctor? His no-tie informality is nearly always balanced with a pocket square that coordinates with the shirt. The square thus takes the place of the tie in the formal hierarchy. Pocket square as replacement for tie is a subtle but revolutionary note that shifts the balance of what's dressed-up and what's not. Shifting that small splash of silk and color from around the neck to in the pocket probably won't become become the new twenty-first century formal -- however, it does point the way to what may be a vital step in forestalling the inevitable slip into universal slovenliness. 

So congratulations, Dr Philip Calvin McGraw, PhD, 

you are the Mr Thompson's Ties & Squares

2011 Razor Square Man of the Year!

  

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The Path of Least Resistance

(The Great Computer Crash of 2011, part 3 of 3)

Chapter 47

Alas! The TT&S computers are still off-line thanks to a hostile rootkit, so while it snoozes peacefully on the shelves of the local computer guru's shop, I am reduced to pecking out the last blog post of the year on my Kindle. No fear, though; even if this week is off on a bit of a rabbit-trail, my scheduled end-of-year installments will still be posted...just a bit further into 2012 than I had planned.

To make my point this week, I'm gonna talk about cars. I like cars. My daily driver is a 35 year old British motorcar. Twice a year I need to shoot grease in the suspension, adjust the valves and brake shoes, bleed the hydraulics, clean the spark plugs, set the timing, change the oil...well, you get the idea. It will get to 40 mph in about half a minute and might do freeway speeds if I had a death wish. It doesn't have power anything, and stowing its convertible top takes about five minutes. (It isn't a beater either; it's in excellent mechanical shape and runs like a sewing machine.)

It is surpassed in every conceivable way by even the most basic of modern cars. An everyday, simple modern car like, say, the Chevy Impala I rented to get the family to the beach this week, is a supercar by the standards of when my car was built, in 1976. An Impala is a barge today, (although it would have been considered merely a midsize then,) but  no car of any price thirty years ago could hope to be as quiet, smooth, powerful, quick, agile, thrifty, OR clean, let alone ALL of those things at once, as that little rental Impala is. In fact, there's very little to do in it other than turn the key, point it at the horizon, press the go pedal, and steer between the lines. Give it gas when it's empty, change the oil every couple of years, and it's good pretty much forever.  But you know what? I still wouldn't trade my old MG Midget for one.

And why is that? Because modern drivers don't have to think much, and as a result they get sloppy. Their engines are controlled by computers, so they just fling their cars around while sitting in their airbagged cocoons, without paying any heed to that mysterious hunk of spinning metal under the hood. For instance, when they turn a key, their computer controlled fuel injection systems start their vehicles instantly: and they expect no less. My car? I have to think to declutch, turn on the fuel pump, prime the carburetter, choke the intake, and only then hit the starter switch. As a result, I know every sound, every squeak and rattle that car makes; I know when something sounds different, I know just what that sound or vibration means, and I (usually!) know how to fix it.

Here is the point: if people don't HAVE to pay attention to something, they usually WON'T.

They let the engine computer, the GPS, or what have you, do their thinking for them. It is the same with the clothes they wear: the world is stuffed with easily-available, cheap, ready-to-wear rags that are practically shoved under your nose for you to brainlessly buy, with no more fashion sense than a fifth-grader. Of course, these clothes are also bereft of any aesthetic sensibility whatsoever. If you want to dress any better than that, you have to do your homework...just as, if you want to "really" drive, you have to learn to double-clutch, work a spark advance lever, maybe even a crank handle, and run an engine yourself; instead of letting a computer run it for you.

You need shoes: you go to a large store in the mall filled with athletic shoes and pick a pair. You take what is most readily available and easily offered. If you want real shoes, you must make the additional effort to find them.

You want a hat: there are plenty of stores filled to bursting with baseball caps. You want a real hat, a fedora, fitted to your head? More extra effort.

You want clothes: thousands of stores with billions of tee shirts and "pre-stressed" jeans beckon you. Real grownup clothes? More work.

Getting married? Lots of places will be more than happy to rent you a "tux." Perhaps you want a fitted morning suit with a cravat and detachable collar instead? Good luck -- you may have to rent from overseas. That's a LOT more work, not to mention money.

The reason it seems so hard to dress well, is that the world makes it so gosh darn easy to dress poorly. And most people will take the path of least resistance and just take what's most readily available.

Hopefully, if this blog has been of any use at all this year to you, it has been to show that you do not have to follow the lemmings off the sartorial cliff. If I may make a suggestion for a New Year's Resolution, it would be to resolve to go that extra mile and make that extra effort in 2012 to seek out the real clothes, the grownup clothes; and start your own one-person revolution against the men that dress like children.

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