As The Wardrobe Turns

("Springtime and the Average Guy," part two of three)

Chapter 59

Happy Spring, O My Average Guys! Yes, it's the time for Spring Break, outdoor sports, barbecues, and touring. My Advice for Spring Breakers is still timeless and required reading -- but before you get too excited, remember it's also time for yard work, repairs, and the dreaded annual Spring Cleaning. 

No, men are not exempt from Spring Cleaning. Especially now that you have endeavored to make the leap into dressing like an adult, you have some regular closet maintenance to take care of now. Specifically, the Seasonal Wardrobe Rotation. Clothes are seasonal things, as you should know by now, and the seasons are not "tee shirt" and "sweatshirt." Proper attire means more attire, and more specialized attire. Unless you have a cavernous closet, you should only have hangers for the current season's needs: no more than three months. In other words, there's no need to keep your heavy coats on hangers anymore -- they need to make way for sweaters and sport coats, and later on, polo and aloha shirts, before making way for the tweeds and wools of winter again. 

Clearing out hanger space begs the question, what do you do with the off-season's clothes? The answer is self-evident -- put them in the space left over by this season's clothes. Exactly where that is, depends on your own situation. If you don't have spare cedar-lined wardrobes scattered around your mansion, then a dresser, chest of drawers, or trunk, is the obvious solution. There are underbed storage solutions available for those tight on space. If you pack carefully and take steps to ensure the contents are  kept dry, even a cardboard box in the attic or cellar works well. Don't underestimate the value of a SpaceBag® storage cube, either; they really do work wonders. For those truly bereft of extra storage space, such as students and the like, think of using space that you're already using, such as storing your off-season clothes in your suitcases.

When packing away for the season, you want to make sure your clothes are clean and dry, so they will be ready to use again as soon as you unpack them. You needn't dry clean everything you own -- but you should make sure they are free of dirt, beaten well and "rolled" to remove lint and dust, and brushed with a clothes brush.

The question of just how to fold a coat is not one to take lightly. If you've had any experience with coats at all, you've noticed that, as well as they behave on a hanger, they can be darned unruly anywhere else. The shaped construction of the shoulders and chest don't seem to want to fold and pack away neatly. Don't worry; this is not a new problem. For hundreds of years, men have endeavored to find a way to fold their coats that would leave them wrinkle-free and fresh after extended storage.

There has always been a subtle black magic to folding a coat. There are some Internet tutorials on how to do it properly; but as these are varied, and sometimes conflicting in their information, I'll show you how to fold a few different sorts of coat when you put them away. 

The first thing to realize is that there isn't a one-size-fits-all solution. Coats are of all different weights and styles of construction, and what works for one may not work as well for another.

First, I'll show the oldest method of folding, which dates back to before 1820. It works best on heavy, full-length coats without shaping in the shoulders. I'll demonstrate this on my winter Ulster coat. It's a box-coat, made full and square with no shaping at all, big enough to wear another heavy coat underneath it.. It's massive, but not padded or shaped. 

The first thing to do is lay it out flat and face down. 

Then turn the shoulders in so that they meet at the center back seam. 

Double the sleeves over at the elbow.

Unfold the lapels, and fold the fronts over so that they cover the sleeves.

It's important to make sure that the fabric is laying down perfectly smooth and even without any wrinkles.

Fold the coat in half such that the bottom edge is even with the collar.

Turn the coat over, and it should look like this. If you have a large, flat area to store your coats, you should stop here. The fewer folds the coat has, obviously, the less creasing you will see next winter. 

If you have a smaller area to fit your coat, fold it in half again. Several heavy coats will stack in a drawer this way.

If your coats have "hard" shoulders, the old method shown above won't work as well: it'll mash the shoulders flat and cause trouble later on. This next method works best for long, shaped coats. Here is a camel hair paletot. It's not an overcoat, but made to wear over a shirt like a jacket, with jacket-style shaping in the waist and shoulders. 

Lay the coat out flat as before. This time, turn one shoulder inside out, and turn that side of the front across to the back.

Hold the inside-out shoulder, put your hand in the other shoulder, and tuck the shoulders together. 

The result should look like this. Both shoulders are nested together: they support each other's padding, and the coat's lining faces out. The lapels and collar are unfolded. Make sure the sleeves nest together smoothly without wrinkles.

Then take the lapels and turn them inside the coat.

Turn the skirts halfway up like this.

Then fold the top half over, and this coat is ready to be packed away. 

The last remaining method I'll show is a hybrid of these two methods. It's very useful with short coats and jackets with lightly padded shoulders, but without a lot of shaping. Here's a heavy-ish tweed coat of mine. It's nice for the cold, but I have lighter tweeds for Spring, so in the trunk it goes!

Start with the coat face down.

Then turn both shoulders inside out. 

And then, fold both front sides over. Essentially, you've turned the coat inside-out, with the sleeves inside and the collar unfolded. Make sure the sleeves are laying smoothly inside.

Fold the coat in half...

...and in half again. This is a good space-saving method for these sorts of coats.

As you can see, each method results in a compact package with minimal creases, wrinkles, and stresses on the fabric. They all have several things in common, though -- They turn the lining out to protect the fabric, they fold around the sleeves so they can't get loose and flop around, they use as few folds as possible, and they all unfold the collar and lapels. When late Fall rolls around, you can be assured that when you crack open your trunk, your heavy coats will be fresh and ready to wear with minimal attention! 

Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about using mothballs, unless you have a bug problem in your area. Most modern homes are tight enough not to have to worry about such things -- unless you really like that old-world wool-and-camphor smell. For many, the smell of mothballs in winter clothes brings back strongly pleasant olfactory memories of family, grandparents, and Christmastime.

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Time to Put Up Your Toys

Chapter 27

The countdown to the end of Summer marches on -- the beginning of the next school term is just around the corner. Millions of school children, (and a goodly number of teachers and professors!) will soon feel the crush of reality bearing in on them; as do we all, as the carefree styles of the calescent days of July slowly give way to the breezy chills of September.

As the jackets and ties and buttoned-down Oxfords of sobriety take over our wardrobes, it's time to say a fond see-you-later to your short sleeved summery Aloha shirts, tropical patterns and florals, and pack them away for their ten-month annual hibernation.

But wait! Just how do you pack away seasonal shirts, anyway? Sure, you could just stuff them in a sack and throw them in the attic -- but wouldn't it be nicer to be able to take them out of storage in a store-fresh, ready-to-wear state?

Of course it would -- and that's what this week is all about! What follows is a step-by-step tutorial that will show you how to pack away your summer funwear in a way that would make any valet green with envy. Step into my den, and I'll demonstrate my starching, ironing, and folding procedure. If you haven't been introduced to starching or ironing in your masculine adult life yet, this will be an excellent point of departure for you!

First, let's discuss starching. Putting away shirts in a starched state will insure they stay clean and wrinkle-free until you need them again next year, as well as rendering them exceptionally easy to fold and pack off. There are many different brands of commercial starch available, in both spray and liquid form. Well, forget 'em, we're gonna make our own -- from scratch! It won't be nearly as expensive as the bottled stuff, and it will be a good deal stronger.

It's important to note here that starch is starch, whether it is made from corn, rice, potatoes, or whatever's in the pre-bottled stuff. The stuff you use on your laundry and the stuff you put in your gravy: identical. So let's get cookin'! Join me in the kitchen...

You'll need a good-sized pot. This doesn't involve anything that's not basically edible, so you can use one of your regular cooking pots. Put two quarts of water in, set it to a boil, and then lower to a simmer. Now follow along with the filmstrip. (All of these images can be super-sized by clicking on them.)

1: Measure out a quarter-cup of starch (I'm using cornstarch, available in the baking aisle of your grocery.)
2: Add the starch to a half-cup of cold water.
3: Mix with a fork until the starch powder completely dissolves.
4: Add the dissolved starch mix to the simmering pot, and turn the heat off. You want the starch to hit the water just under the boiling point for maximum effectiveness.

5: Using a wooden spoon, stir the pot constantly, until the mix turns from white to translucent, and thickens to the consistency of thin paste. This should only take a few minutes of stirring.

Voila -- two quarts of starch, easy as that! Now, a couple thoughts while we wait for our pot to cool off a bit.

First, before you ask, NO, this is not the recipe I use for starching my Razor Squares. That is a century-old concoction that involves many different ingredients and is considerably more difficult to make. (No, I will not tell you what it is.) For our purposes, this quick-and-simple basic starch will work just fine.

Second, yes, I'm using cups and quarts. You won't find me using milli-deci-anything. Call me old-fashioned, but I like the standard measure just fine, thank you. Just remember: two tablespoons to a jigger, two jiggers to a jack, two jacks to a jill, two jills to a cup, two cups to a pint, two pints to a quart, two quarts to a pottle, and two pottles to the gallon. Easy!

Now that our starch has cooled somewhat, let's move the pot to the den, where we have some clean shirts, hangers, and an ironing board awaiting us.

I strongly recommend latex gloves: any barrier between you and this rather hot sticky liquid is a good thing. Simply take a shirt, and immerse it completely in the starch.

Use your wooden spoon to push the shirt under, working out the air pockets and getting it thoroughly wet. The spoon is also handy for fishing the shirt back out. But there is plenty of room in the pot to add more shirts! Stir them around like shirt soup, making certain they are all wet right through.

1: Fish out the first shirt by the collar. Let it drip for a bit, then run it over the spoon as shown to draw some more water out. This is important, because the next step --
2: -- is to hold it high by the collar and methodically squeeze the water out from the top down. The water should be off-scalding to the point where this won't give you first-degree burns. (The gloves really help here.)
3: Fold the shirt in half, then in half again,
4: and gently wring the entire thing out. Don't overdo it: we still want it to be damp, just not dripping.

Unfold the shirt, let it hang free, fold it sleeve-to-sleeve, and lay it across the ironing board onto a towel. Continue with the other shirts in the pot the same way.

Hang the shirts on a plastic hanger. Take care to fold the collar down, straighten the sleeves, and generally adjust it so it hangs as wrinkle-free as possible. This will save you much grief later, trust me.

Hang your shirts overnight until they dry out completely; in your laundry room, or your shower curtain rod, for instance. Some love the natural outdoorsy scent of clothes line-dried outdoors.

And so we wait...

Until the next day! Notice how stiff our shirts have become; they are standing horizontally like flags. Perfect.

Now we'll go on to the ironing. You'll need to set it about medium-high, with a full head of steam. (Dampness relaxes the starch; when it dries it stiffens up again.) If your iron doesn't crank out copious amounts of steam, a spray bottle of water, or more traditionally, a damp sponge, may be needed to relax the starch as you iron.

What follows is a very thorough and methodical method of ironing, which is sure to get every seam, every corner, every inch. Is this really needed? Yes, it is. Unlike regular out-of-the-dryer ironing, heavy starch doesn't like shortcuts; and this method will pack a shirt away with absolutely no wrinkles. None. It will take a while to learn at first, but there a logic to the method; it will reveal itself to you as you work. The more shirts you do, the quicker and more automatic the process will become as you gain practice and experience.

Now, before you say anything, I know my ironing board is ratty, rusty, and stained. I do not apologize for this, nor should you -- a well-used board is a badge of honor, for it shows that you properly iron your clothes. Now follow along:

1: First, attend to the collar. With the shirt label-side down and the collar open, stretch the collar out with one hand while drawing the iron slowly towards it.
2: Flip the shirt over, and iron the other side of the collar, this time pulling with one hand and drawing the iron away from it.
3: Put the shirt shoulder over the point of the board, and pull the shoulder seam tight at the yoke.
4: Then pull the yoke seam itself tight.
5: Iron to the corner of the yoke seam at the shoulder, then sweep the iron down to the midpoint of the yoke. (Image is ironing into the corner)
6: Turn the shirt around so that the other shoulder sits over the board's point, and do the same with the other half of the yoke. (Image is sweeping the iron down the yoke.)

This completes the collar and the yoke.

7: Put the left front panel on the board so that the point sits inside the shoulder. Pull the front of the shoulder seam tight.
8: Then pull the side seam tight.
9: Iron down the side seam from under the arm to the bottom seam.
10: Run the iron down from the chest pocket to the bottom seam in several passes. Pull the bottom seam tight, run along it, then pull the placket tight and run up the placket, holding the neck point out and ironing up to it.
11: Iron above the pocket, sweeping out to the shoulder point.
12: Change the position to the right side front, and repeat the procedure. (Image shown is ironing out to the neck point and sweeping over the pocket.)

This completes the fronts.

13: Set the back on the board so the point sits inside the right shoulder. Pull the bottom seam tight, and the back tight against the point.
14: Crease the back pleat, and hold the endpoint in place.
15: Drop the iron straight down on the pleat to set it.
16: Sweep the iron down from the shoulder down to the bottom, covering the entire board. Iron along the bottom edge last.
17: Center the back over the board and sweep from the yoke to the bottom. (If you have a center pleat do it now.)
18: Repeat the procedure on the other shoulder.

This completes the back.

19: Set the shirt face down with the sleeves out. Pull the sleeve's bottom seam tight.
20: Align the ends of the sleeves, with the seam at the bottom, and pull tight to find the top crease.
21: Iron from the sleeve bottom seam, up the opening, and sweep in to the shoulder seam.
22: Flip the shirt over and iron the other side as well. Repeat for the other sleeve.

This completes the ironing of the shirt -- now we'll move on to folding it. Now that everything's starched and ironed, this won't be difficult at all!

1: Lay the shirt on its back on the board with the fronts open, and smooth it out.
2: Bring the fronts together, and button the second-from-the-top button, the bottom button, and every other button in between.
3. Bring the neckpoint up, and smooth down the front under the collar. Pull the shoulder tight to find the crease point of the yoke.
4: Iron the yoke from the neck to the shoulder, and sweep down the base of the collar.
5: Fold down the collar right at the turnover seam, and pull out the collar points while holding the pivot point at the placket. You will find a point where the geometry allows the collar to sit tight and smooth against the front of the shirt, and not bind against the yoke. (This sounds more complex than it is.)
6: Drop the iron down on the points of the collar. Don't iron the whole collar flat -- you don't want a seam where it turns around the neck.

7: Holding the shoulder with one hand, and the bottoms with the other, flip the shirt over.
8: Smooth the shirt down, making sure everything is laying flat and there are no wrinkles.
9: From the shoulder crease at the collar-turn, fold the left side over straight down to the bottom. Pull the fold tight, smooth it down and iron it.
10: Using the shoulder seam at the sleeve, flip the sleeve to the outside. Smooth the crease down. Note that the geometry of the sleeve is such that a small triangle of the fabric of the sidebody will turn over as well to allow the sleeve to lay perfectly flat.
11: Flip the sleeve back in again, and iron the sleeve down.

12: Fold the right side in, the same as you did for the left.
13: Fold the sleeves in the same fashion as well.
14: Turn up the tail and double-check that the side folds are equal -- the button should be right in the center. If not, re-do the right side slightly further out or in until the dimensions are equal, then iron the right side down.
15: Using a wooden skewer helps here. Fold the bottom third of the shirt up.
16: Pull the skewer tight while holding the fold to work out any wrinkles. Do this again, to make a three-part fold.

17: Turn the shirt over, and you are done! This tight, starchy package will pack very well as-is. But, for the finishing touch, you will need squares of tissue paper.
18: Place the tissue on the board, with the folded shirt at the bottom edge.
19: Flip the top third of the shirt over.
20: Fold in the tissue paper from both sides.
21: Flip the top of the shirt back over the tissue.
22: Fold the tissue over the shirt.

And now you're ready to stack your summer shirts in a dresser drawer, or storage box for the winter! By giving them a proper send-off like this, you'll have a stack of crisp, fresh shirts awaiting the return of hot weather next year.

And next week, we'll turn our attention on replacing those summer shirts -- with something a bit more autumnal. Stay tuned...

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